At any given moment....

you may find a load of laundry piled on the coffee table

or bottles that need to be washed

or the table covered with the "playdoh" mat yet being used not for playdoh but other things.

You will almost always find an abandoned box of crayons somewhere and scattered throughout the house

a desk covered with random things

and artwork that covers our windows and walls

because this is what makes our house our home.  I am surrendering. I am letting go of the idea of perfectionism. I will not have a model home. There will be crumbs on the floor, crayon marks on the walls, fingerprints on the windows. I will say "yes" more, get upset over cleaning up messes less, and let our kids be kids. I will teach them responsibility without making them feel guilty for having fun. I will let the dishes pile up in order to go outside and blow bubbles with my kids. I will save the laundry for later when my newborn just wants to be held. I will be on the computer less so that I may read more stories to Carter and Olivia. We will watch less tv and play more boardgames together.

What legacy will I leave for my children? Will they remember their mom as always yelling at them for getting playdoh on the floor, for getting ketchup all over the table, for a trail of cracker rooms that extends the length of our entire first floor? Or will they remember a mom who made tents in the hall, sat down and colored Dora coloring sheets for an hour, let them help cook in the kitchen, danced around to Veggie Tales songs, and read stories and tucked them in every night?

I am letting go of the small stuff so that I may make more room for the bigger things. These moments are but a breath. Inhale slowly.