A Tribute

It's been two years since my grandma (*aka* geemaw/grandmother/Nini) died. It's hard to believe it's been that long. I still think about her all the time and often wish she were here. I find myself frequently saying "Grandma, are you proud of me still? Are you proud of what I'm doing and how my life is turning out? Are you proud of the wife and mother I've become?" It's almost as if I can physically see her smiling down on me and nodding her head. I sure hope I'm making her proud.

There is no one else in the world quite like my grandma. She is one of the most Godly, Christian, and loving women I will ever have the pleasure of knowing. She rarely said an unkind word about anyone and we seldom had a conversation in which she didn't remind me of how good God was. There was a time in my life when I didn't have anywhere else to go and she took me in, and cared for me, emotionally and spiritually. Her face would always light up when I would come to visit her. She wanted me to just sit with her and talk. Those were the best times...those spent on her couch, listening to her. I learned so much from her, about life, about love, about God, about family. There was nothing I couldn't talk to her about.

And did she love Theo and Carter! I remember the first time she met him....I was unsure of what my family would think but grandma said that Theo just had a presence about him and she knew he would go far in life. She loved him as if he were her own blood. Then along came Carter. One of my favorite pictures is of her holding Carter the day he was baptized. Grandma always had a way of getting babies to sleep soundly. She had a signature pat and hold that could calm even the fussiest baby. The first time I ever had to leave Carter for school, grandma watched him. I knew he was in good hands with her and I think she loved every moment of caring for him. I only wish she were still here so she could see the little man he has turned into. I wish Carter had a chance to know her as well because I know he could learn so much from her.

I could fill volumes of things to say about grandma but at the risk of having a complete meltdown at work and doing my "ugly cry", I will close with this:

Grandma, there is no doubt in my mind that you are in Heaven where you have always wanted to be and I hope it is more than you ever imagined. I feel your presence here with me. Please stay with me always. I love you more than words can describe.